I have always wanted the spiritual life to be the center of mine. I never
really cared much for making a living, or for the power or status of money.
I wanted to do something good for the world, good for the soul. Everything
seemed stained with politics or fruitless - I felt I couldn't stop the
wheel of destruction.
I never fit into any religion. I tried Chritianity, but there were so
many holes I should've called it swiss cheese. The Judeo-Christian bent
had no room for women, or the feminine experience. It was as if women
weren't there unless they were washing somebody's feet or having someone's
head chopped off. The whole judging sky father thing was never a turn-on
It is easy for those who can accept a patriarchal paradigm to hide in
the cloisters, in the eaves of a wall, with so many other like-believers.
I wanted to join, to have that communion and support, but I couldn't live
with myself being hypocritical. I felt any religion would end up excommunicating
me anyway, because I am always seeking. I ask too many questions, the
questions threaten their stability and traditions. But I am after ever-evasive
Truth, and that is more vital than any building, book or tradition. When
religious leaders answer, "Because it is. It is not for us to question",
I know something has become mottled, sick. There is no vitality left in
that religion, and it becomes the platform of politics, bickering, petty,
I do believe there is an abundance, a god/goddess of goodness of love
of compassion. The goddess who brought us green and nature and planet,
the goddess who brought us forgiveness and altruism. I don't vibe with
religions that thrive on placing fear, that thrive on books and laws set
in stone. There are a few laws to follow, but tinier details are often
irrelevant and are more a reflection of society and a set of individuals'
backgrounds and outlook than the truth. There are only a few truths to
follow. I think the Universe is a benevolent force and would like to help
us reach Bliss, here on earth.
To me, Heaven is not something to reach "out there", or when I die necessarily.
It is a state of mind. I believe wholly that heaven can be reached here
© 1990 - 2003 Katharina Woodworth